You are the almost perfect example of the tension between instinct and reason. Reminds me of Jung's distinction between 'modern man' and 'primitive man'. You are the tragic embodiment of both sides fighting for total dominance within a single, fractured psyche.
You are so "choked with resentment" that you write a letter to the officer demanding his friendship but hiding it with spite. How low you must feel to think a duel is what you must do to fight for your dignity and recognition. Oh, the instinctive man in you must have felt vindicated at the thought of defeating the officer in a bloody and bodily confrontation, huh?
But fantasy alone is not enough for a spiteful man like you. You are not satisfied because you never sent the letter-your impulse didn't die! It's too strong to be kept in the imagination; it multiplied, and you had to find a substitute object.
[Personology Matrix // Cross Reference] "Displacement functions by finding a substitute object that society's moral codes forbid and using the substitute object for drive satisfaction. The psychic energy that was invested in the forbidden object is thus displaced to the substitute object."
But it doesn't make sense to challenge the officer to a duel just because you want his recognition and envy his social status, now does it? I searched up when duels were made illegal in Russia... 1716? That predates your spite for the officer.
Coming to anachronism, you recognizing that wanting a bloody fist duel is of an anachronistic nature proves the "rational modern man" in you is dominant. Wanting to unleash your primitive nature to settle the hyper-conscious, overthinking hell you have been condemned to by your own loneliness is just your instinct playing around in your imagination.
But because the legal ban of duels and your own paralyzing fear meant you only play with the idea in your imagination, I have to ask: where exactly does all that seething heat and unspent resentment go?
You prefer being thrown out of a window over being unacknowledged? All because the officer didn't acknowledge you by throwing you out of the window, but only walked past you?
"I envied the gentleman thrown out of the window... I envied him so much that I went into the tavern, I thought perhaps I'll have a fight too and they'll throw me out of the window... I was not drunk - but what is one to do? - depression will drive a man to such a pitch of hysteria... an officer put me in place ... without warning or explanation - moved me to another spot and passed as though he had not noticed me. I could have forgiven blows but not his having moved me without noticing me."
"Sometimes I was positively choked with resentment. At last I determined to challenge my enemy to a duel... Only fancy, this was two years after his insult to me, and my challenge would have been a ridiculous anachronism, in spite of all the ingenuity of my letter in disguising and explaining away the anachronism." — Fyodor Dostoevsky, Notes from Underground (Wordsworth Classics Edition,PP. 487-490)